Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
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Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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