just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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