Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
