come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
