but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
