i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
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Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My bed smells like the plague
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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