I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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