Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
