When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
