He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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