I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
