so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
