got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
