She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're too hungover to prance.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
