The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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