this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
