google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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