I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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