We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
