Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we're so committed to being not committed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
