Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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