I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize