Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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