those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
