marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
