OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
