found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
