please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
