I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
