I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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