I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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