why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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