Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i think im in europe. pls send help
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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