dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize