so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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