OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
