I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
