You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
