Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
