We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude i'm inner monologue high
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Damn victory sex feels great
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