Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
