and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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