Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
