Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!