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Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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