How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.