I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND