He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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