Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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