Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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