We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
