Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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