i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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