he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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