well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
