Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
