how can u be prego again
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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