My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
