we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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