you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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