U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
