I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
