she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
why is half of my head shaved?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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