Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
