Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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