She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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